(Quiz, page two, keep going! You've already fallen behind. Just look around you. They know more than you. Shame on you. What are your parents going to say?)

 

5. What is “steel rain"?
                a) Rain mixed with sleet.
                b) A metaphor, where steel signifies the hardness of the rain on skin.
                c) Fucking awesome, dude, new X-box rated M for whatever, man.
                d) Fleschettes, a term that has come to evoke bits of flesh.
                e) The Pittsburgh quarterback's bomb.
                f) Whatever you want it to mean, big boy.

6. Saddam's penis
                a) is two inches long.
                b) reaches Cleveland or Tel Aviv.
                c) tastes like chicken kabob.
                d) is in the closet, but ready for usage.
                e) ack.
                f) all of the above.

7. Saddam Hussein was not unseated in the Gulf War because
                a) the Powell Principle does not address what happens on the ground.
                b) someone lacked gonads.
                c) General Barry McCaffrey wanted some camels.
                d) someone had a wild hare named Saddam.
                e) I love sequels.
                f) “The Empire Strikes Back” proves the theory that sometimes the original is in fact the copy.

8. In the press conference, Colin Powell said, “we have no quarrel with the Iraqi people.” In this context, a quarrel means
                a) gathering stones.
                b) scrum.
                c) minimum participation.
                d) blood bag.
                e) orcs.
                f) MTV Real World.

 

 

n e x t

 

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